As I woke up today to welcome the first rays of the morning Sun, I had a messy table, a messy room, a messy life and a messy world waiting to embrace me with open arms. After managing to brush my teeth in the half-awake state, I was greeted by a half-burnt toast on my dining table. Pangs of nostalgia sent chills down my body. Oh! How I wish my mom was here to guide me through this mess and make this flat a home with the ever resonating tap-tap of her slippers and lively laughter. Truly said,
Mother - " One person who does the work of twenty, for free."
What struck me then was isn’t this the same person I have loathed all my life for not letting me do what my heart wanted? What would I tell myself if I were my mother?
I would ask myself to trust my gut every single time. I would remind myself time and time again that the tiny voice inside my head is more powerful than anything else in this world. If a situation, a person or an object is arousing a weird feeling in your gut, do not place your trust there no matter how many times your heart decides to defy your mind.
I would ask myself to be outside as much as I can be. Explore the hidden streets and indulge in exotic cuisine. Come across strangers, share a smile and perhaps learn a life story or two. Give yourself a treat every once in a while. For all that you do for yourself and others, you deserve and moreover need that space. Go on adventures and fill your lungs with fresh air ( or smoke, if you are in Delhi).
If given a choice between a boy and your best friend, never chose the boy. Girl code is very strong and it is what makes the world go around. Instil it in yourself and believe in it with every ounce of your being. Have the intention to do good for all, even if you don’t know them. The cycle of Karma is very strong. Your deeds chase you and come back to you.
Remember that guy you cried over in grade eight? Trust me, you will regret it. Never cry over a man. If he is the reason behind your sadness, no matter how great or amazing he seems right now, he is simply not worth it. Dates are like job interviews with cocktails. If you don’t get the job, a better one is always waiting around the corner. Anything that you have to force, be it love or a ponytail, is simply not worth it. Don’t let the presence of a male figure in the lives of all of your friends lure you into searching for one. You are way happier the way you already are.
No matter how hard you try, you will just never succeed at pleasing everybody and it doesn’t even matter. Anything that won’t make a difference in your life five years down the line, is not worth fretting about. People are complicated and will perplex you for your entire life. Some of them are gems and will stick by you while some are sadistic and anything you do won’t ever manage to please them. Ask yourself, are they really worth breaking a sweat over if at the end all of us are really alone? No matter how much you hate me right now, a time will come when you will hold my hand and realize how I was the only true friend you had all along.
On some days, you might feel that your world is crashing down like a stack of dominos. Believe and you will rise above it like a Phoenix from ashes. Every tough situation will teach you something new and you will emerge stronger and more confident about yourself than ever before. Remember, “Tough times never last but tough people do.”
Lastly, do not ever let the world influence you into submitting to societal conventions. Thumbing your nose at the establishment is not for the faint at heart. Be it your passion or your gender, never suppress your desires just because the society expects you to. Do not try to fit in for great souls are born to stand out. No matter how much the society shames you for it, believe in feminism and the fact that you are in no way any lesser than your male counterparts. You are a woman, the strongest creation of the Almighty. Do not ever try to be just “pretty”. You are born to burn the ground and graffiti the sky. Do not ever let anyone put you down. With rational faith in your capabilities, always have confidence in your work and the world will step down on its knees for you.
The list is endless. However, I wonder if I am able to write this long essay just because I am not a mother yet with my daughter venturing out into an unknown city in a world full of Nirbhayas and Zainabs? When I discussed these ideas with my mother she guffawed saying “Become a mother yourself, only then would you understand my pain”. This lady after achieving so much in life still believes in the principle of “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. Hasn’t she gone through the same phase herself? The wrinkles on her face expressing years of experience answer my question brilliantly. I am in fact nothing but a sum total of all her sleepless nights and incessant effort. I indeed have a lot to learn from this powerful soul without whom I am nothing but a rebellious youngster with a messy room and a messy life.